Ways to Help Your Child

Below are numerous topics that may be of concern as your child goes through the elementary years. You will find strategies and articles about each of the topics. As always, please feel free to contact Mrs. Hougham if you have any questions or concerns regarding your child!

The Round Rock ISD Counseling Department has a site full of resources for families as well that can be found by clicking on Round Rock ISD Counseling Department's Resource Page for Families.

National Institute of Mental Health's guide for when to seek help for your child and first steps to take (with downloadable fact sheet).


Little Parachutes is a wonderful website filled with lists of children's books about a variety of situations your children and family may experience. The website is very well organized and easy to search. Overarching topics with book lists include:
  • Encouraging positive behavior
  • Big issues and milestones
  • Childhood experiences
  • Worries, feelings, and fears
  • Illnesses, disabilities, and health
  • Simply great books

ADHD/Focusing
ADHD Parenting Tips 
4 Ways to Help your Child Focus
There are many ways parents can help a child exhibiting symptoms of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder such as
  • Providing consistency by following predictable routines for getting ready for school, homework, play, bedtime, etc.
  • Model and practice appropriate organizational skills and help your child maintain their organizational systems
  • Help your child use large monthly calendars for planning after-school activities and when tests and assignments occur
  • Use timers as a visual reminder for your child when they need to complete a task
  • Give specific, concise directions to your child in positive ways (phrase directions as what do you want to happen rather than what you don't want to happen)
  • Help practice problem solving skills with your child
  • Give your child a chance to practice using appropriate social skills
  • Help your child make healthy food choices
  • Use encouragement and positive reinforcement

Anger Management
All About Anger for Kids
Learning to manage anger is an important life skill that needs to be taught to and practiced by all students. Discussing and modeling appropriate ways you as parents handle anger is a great way to help kids managing their own anger. There are many ways you can practice managing anger with your child, including
  • Take a break (moving away from what makes you angry)
  • Do a physical activity (shoot hoops, do jumping jacks, or run the track)
  • Take deep breaths
  • Count to 10
  • Squish Play-Doh
  • Color your feelings
  • Write your feelings in a journal entry, story, or poem
  • Read a quiet book to yourself (When Sophie Gets Angry is a good one!)
  • Positive self-talk (I can control my anger...)

Anxiety
Tips for Parents and Caregivers of Anxious Children
It is normal for every person to have some amount of anxiety from time to time, but when anxiety begins affecting your child's school and home functioning, there are many things you can do to help your child in addition to possibly consulting a mental health professional.
  • Listen to your child's worries and fears and remind them that they are not alone and that other kids have worries too
  • Help children address their concerns and if they are not realistic, help them see the truth
  • Help your child gradually ease into new situations that may cause anxiety and provide encouragement when they are in these situations
  • Practice relaxing including deep breathing, counting to 10, visualizations (taking a pretend field trip to the relaxing beach or a peaceful meadow), and listening to calming music
  • Encourage structured play dates or extracurricular activities if your child has an anxious temperament
  • Promote your child's independence and build on their strengths


Bullying Prevention
Information and Videos on Bullying Topics
We work hard to prevent bullying at our school but we also want our students to be prepared and know what to do if bullying occurs include reporting to a school staff member immediately. We also reinforce Upstander behavior for our students: standing up for yourself and others in any situation when hurtful behavior is involved. While NO hurtful behavior is acceptable, not all hurtful behavior is bullying, and upstander behavior can be used with ANY hurtful behavior. At school practice the Upstander strategies below that you can also reinforce at home by role playing situations while looking the person in the eye, standing tall, and using firm words such as "stop - this behavior is not okay with me," "we don't treat each other in hurtful ways at our school," or "we treat each other with respect." Parents can also help by listening to your child's concerns about possible bullying behaviors and sharing your concerns with your child's teachers.



College and Career
Even though your child is still in elementary school, it's never too early to start talking about college and career! There are many ways parents can help children create a college-going culture!
  • Talk about your education and career
  • Discuss a variety of other careers so your child knows there are many options out there
  • Talk about your child's college and career goals
  • Introduce your child to colleges and after high-school training programs by visiting websites together
  • Encourage your child to do the best they can now in order to prepare for the future and develop his or her strengths

Conflict Resolution  
Ages and Stages of Conflict Resolution
Conflicts are a part of our lives every single day and because of this, we want our students to develop conflict resolution skills to help in these situations. There are many choices your child can make when in conflict in order to gain a win-win solution. You can help your child role play and decide when to use the following choices when in conflict:
  • Talk it out (use an inside voice)
  • Say "Please stop"
  • Walk away and stay away
  • Ignore...don't react
  • Cool off (count to 10, take deep breaths)
  • Say "I'm sorry"
  • Share or take turns
  • Use an I-message (I feel ____ when ____ and I need ____.)
  • Have a Peer Mediation 
  • You can also role play conflict resolution scenarios using our Fish and Whale Problem Solving Strategies:

Developing Self-Esteem
Ways to Help Develop Your Child's Self-Esteem 
Every parent wants a happy, healthy child with a strong sense of self-esteem and self-confidence. Here are some ways parents can support and grow their child's self-esteem:
  • Choose your words carefully and make sure to provide encouragement for your child
  • Model positive self-esteem and positive self-talk
  • Create a positive home environment where students feel safe and loved
  • Allow your child to become involved in cooperative activities such as volunteering for the good of others in order to feel good about themselves
  • Help your child give others compliments and make others feel good in order to trigger positive feelings amongst themselves

Disaster and Traumatic Events
Disaster and Trauma Responses of Children
Information from http://www.tlcinst.org
What Can You Do? (in a traumatic event such as a school shooting)
Reassure your child or teen that he or she is safe, and that you are also okay by doing the following:


  • Listen!
  • Maintain routines.
  • Turn the television off or allow your child to only watch shows that aren’t covering the incident. (Adolescents may need to watch because, like adults, they have a need to know. Keep it to a minimum – no more than a half-hour and be sure to discuss what your child saw and heard by asking questions and listen carefully to responses and opinions.)
  • Do not criticize any regressive behaviors, such as a child’s need for comfort food. Allow your child to be sad or afraid. Reassure your child that you will be there to take care of them. Tell your child that the sadness, hurt, or fear that may be felt now will change in time.
  • Encourage your child to exercise some sense of control for the next few days by letting them make decisions about what they want to eat, and wear.
  • Spend time together. This means together, not you in one part of the house while your child is in another part of the house.
  • Encourage your child to engage in physical activities as well as activities that let them feel better.
  • Explain that it is normal to feel sad or worried but the United States is a strong country and officials are working hard to keep everyone safe.
  • When needed, help separate fact from fiction. Fiction tends to escalate one’s fears.
  • Do not speculate or exaggerate.
Points to Remember:
  • In all aged children it is essential that caregivers attempt to keep a child’s daily schedule as close to their own routine as possible. Children become easily agitated when they do not know what to expect next. If there is a change in their routine, let them know before it happens if at all possible. Communicating with children helps to restore their trust in you as a caregiver.
  • Children grieve intermittently. Children’s grief is similar to a ping-pong ball; you never know which direction they are headed. Therefore, follow children where they lead you. Allow them to tell their story, on their terms, magically or seriously, let them lead!
It is important to find ways to help a child who is particularly worried feel safe.  One way to do this is to develop safety plans in case it is necessary to seek help or assistance. Part of the process of defusing fear should be directed to helping children feel empowered not only in terms of inner resources, but also practical ways for coping.
  • Ask your child to put their hand on an 8 1/2" x 11" piece of paper and spread their fingers. Then ask the child to trace their hand print. On the fingers of the hand print ask them to write the names and phone numbers of people your child can call for help should he or she need it.
  • On another piece of paper help your child make a safety plan. Have your child write down all the things he or she can do to feel safe and happy.
This activity can be creative and many children enjoy coloring the image. Younger children may need help identifying phone numbers, but try to help the child list as many people as possible; list the people or phone numbers on the fingers of the hand. You might also consider helping your child develop a “safety plan”—how to run to a neighbor’s house or dial 911.

Divorce/Separation
Resource for Children and Families Going Through Divorce/Separation
Tips for Divorced Parents: Co-Parenting and Making Joint Custody Work
  • Because lots of things will be changing in your child's life, try to keep things as consistent as possible for your child; routines = stability = safety
  • Listen to your child's feelings and make sure they know it's okay to share their feelings
  • Refrain from speaking negatively about the other parent in front of your child
  • Allow kids to only have to worry about "kid worries"
  • When kids ask questions, tell the truth in age appropriate ways
  • Make sure your child is not the "middle man"
  • Remind your child that he or she is very loved and never has to choose one parent over the other

Grief and Loss
Helping your child cope with death of a loved one
Ways to help a grieving child
Losing a loved one can be extremely hard for individuals of any age. Below are a few ways you as parents can support your children through this difficult time
  • Understand that children cope with death differently and may have a range of reactions (including emotional shock, regression, acting out and explosive emotions, and questioning) depending on their developmental level
  • Answer your child's questions and help them understand what happened with truthful, developmentally appropriate responses
  • Allow children to grieve and tell their story, listen and validate their feelings, and show extra love and care
  • Understand that grief is a process and allow it to happen as the child needs
  • Realize that as children move into new developmental stages, they begin to understand the loss in a new way and may need extra support
  • Be aware of your own need to grieve as a parent; adults who get help working through their grief are much more able to help their child through the grieving process

Homework Hints
Homework Tips for Families
To help ensure your child finds success with homework, there are many things you can do to help! In addition to modeling getting your own work done in a timely fashion and modeling organization, you can help children in many other ways such as
  • Allow your child to re-energize themselves after school by taking a break, having a snack, or playing a game before beginning homework
  • Create a routine for homework each night using the same time and place each day
  • Encourage children to use planners to stay organized with assignments
  • Have a set place for homework like a big desk with all necessary materials available such as pencils, paper, books, and calculators; make sure the area is free of distractions
  • Sometimes a break may help with concentration during homework time

Internet Safety/Cyber-bullying
There are many ways you can help keep your child safe when using the internet, including
  • Discuss internet safety with your child
  • Monitor your child's internet activity by making sure they use a computer that is in a common area such as a family room rather than a child's bedroom
  • Remind your child to never share personal information (name, address, phone number, school, etc.) with anyone on the internet and never to agree to meet anyone on the internet
  • Do not allow your child to enter private chat rooms

Making Friends
Article about Helping Your Child Make Friends
Every parent wants their child to have friends, and if this is an area your child needs help with, there are many things you can do to help, including
  • Give your child many chances for socialization, including joining an after school club or an extra-curricular activity 
  • Schedule play dates with friends from the neighborhood or friends from school
  • Role play meeting a new child with your child, greeting each other in a friendly way and making conversation
  • Practice partaking in conversation with your child and other social skills
  • Model for your child how to be a good friend and make a friend

School Transitions
Ideas to Support Your Child in School Transitions
Transitions into elementary school or middle school can cause worries for children. There are many ways a parent can help during these transitional times by
  • Listening and validating your child's feelings about the change
  • Let your children know you care about them with extra hugs/nice notes and support
  • Visit your child's school together
  • Help your child feel prepared in every way s/he can (school supplies, school clothes, healthy breakfast, etc.)
  • Explain the rules/procedures of school and how things will work and role play going to school and what things may be like
  • Allow your child to possibly sign-up for an extra-curricular activity in order to make friends and feel like s/he belongs

Stress Management
Coping Skills for Kids Site
Stress and Students
Just like adults, difficult, anxiety provoking situations can add stress to a child's life. There are many ways you can help your child cope with stressful situations, including
  • Practice visualizations (take a pretend field trip to the relaxing beach or a peaceful meadow)
  • Listen to calming music
  • Get lots of rest
  • Eat healthy foods
  • Drink plenty of water
  • Use positive self-talk (I can...)
  • Think positive thoughts
  • Focus on something good that happened that day